i wounded someone with inappropriate and hurtful words.  words that had been clamoring to be heard since almost the first moment the guy across the table had started to speak.  words that were imprisoned because i new that they needed to be reviewed and tested against truth before they were given life and ears heard the sounds of their meaning.

i would prefer to say they escaped.  that would absolve me of some responsibility.  but in reality, they were released.  i opened the door and marshaled the forces for the attack.  i led the charge.

you see, i have experience with such words.  they are my warriors on my team.  once loosed,  their object is victory.  total and non negotiable victory.  victory is consummated when both i and the vanquished know that i am wiser, stronger, smarter and more witty.

the trouble is that my warriors are very often only satisfied with scorched earth results.  once loosed to accomplish their goal, they know no retreat.  they do the damage they are trained for and then find a long life in the memory of those i have beaten down.

i know that, because i have been beaten down.  and in defense, i have trained my word soldiers well.  to strike, to wound, even to cause emotional and spiritual chaos and then find high ground where victory can be savored.

when the guy across the table unwittingly began assaulting my values, i did have the good sense and wisdom to take defensive measures by focusing on eating my food, ask clarifying questions and mostly keep my mouth shut.  I also employed the tactic of excusing myself to release the pressure the too numerous diet cokes with grenadine were having on my bladder.  in the privacy of the boy’s room i could privately consider my raging and conflicting thoughts and confine them to mental quarters.

at this point i was feeling pretty good about myself.

then waterloo.

the guy across the table showed a weakness by finally rhetorically asking if i thought he “needed help?”  i responded.  without restraint.  the tsunami which had been contained was released.  the words i had held at bay now found voice and the pain inflicted was evident on his countenance as well as those of my friends who were patiently waiting for the uncomfortable lunch meeting to end.

the warrior words executed their mission efficiently and effectively.

and end it did.  i was immediately sorry and embarrassed. i had to apologize.  not one of my best skills.  i violated my own principles of building relationships with people that were good for both of us.  my personal goal is to be a reflection of my creator to all with whom i come into contact.

i screwed up.

The following is so good and warms the heart of a business coach that I had to share it with you. It is from an email recently written by the CEO of Trifecta Communications to his overworked and under-compensated team who are in the messy startup mode of a new venture. Imagine what seeing these words mean to those to whom they are addressed. The words are specific, heartfelt, and public.

Trifecta’s mantra is generating innovation that makes money and changes the world. I think they are a good bet to make it happen.

Team Trifecta,

It occurred to me that I asked for your Saturday evening to help with Haunt Old Town last weekend, and you guys responded…just like that. No questions, you just did it. But it gets even better; no one complained. No one! You guys went above and beyond your normal job duties, you did it professionally, happily and with a great positive spirit…and nowhere along the way did anyone say, “man, it really sucks that we have to do all this extra crap.” Actually, you guys have never complained about going above and beyond…and you go above and beyond incessantly! Here are a few things I’ve noticed over the past month or so from each of you:

Rob: I came into the office on a Saturday afternoon earlier in October and there was Rob, working away. In fact, Rob showed up for work the day after having a severe motorcycle accident. The day after! Often times he has to stay late to finish a story because he was working with me during the day to revamp our website or meet with consultants or brainstorm on something. No complaints from Rob, in fact nothing ever seems to phase Rob.

Luke: Luke is a workhorse…no other way to put it. Every home football game he’s there, shooting video…then returning to the office after the game to file his report and edit. On other occasions he stays late to edit various projects and juggles three bosses (me, Rob and Brian) and has shown a tremendous desire to grow. I’ve never seen anyone in the news business work as hard as Luke.

Clancey: On numerous occasions I’ve dropped by the office on a Friday night, sometimes after midnight, and there’s Clancey working away on a sports story (and sometimes Luke and Rob are there at that hour too…but always Clancey). When the police standoff occurred several weeks ago, Clancey immediately switched hats from sports to news and didn’t miss a beat…on a Saturday night…after having covered sports all afternoon. It’s awesome to see Luke and Clancey after every football game, out on the field doing video reports, interviews with coaches, players, etc….which have become some of the highest rated videos on our website. Remarkable.

Armand: There are many, many evenings when Armand and mom are off at a chamber event networking in an effort to lay the groundwork for future sales…after a full day hitting the streets selling. And during the day, when there’s very little extra time to spare, Armand has shown a great desire to sit-in on creative services or news meetings, contributing to those meetings and demonstrating a desire to take-on additional tasks…not tasks we assign him…tasks he asks for! And he has a true heart to serve…Armand happily stood for hours handing out candy to kids at Haunt Old Town…the least glamorous job of the night, but no complaints. And like the rest of our staff, always a refreshingly positive approach to everything.

Elaine: Nothing gets by Elaine…nothing. Each and every time I’ve asked anything above and beyond from Elaine, she’s there. At most every major Trifecta event, Elaine is the chief organizer, making sure everything is getting done…whether that be organizing a drawing at Haunt Old Town or setting up our booth for the South Chamber Octoberfest. And much like the rest of our staff, she’s shown a great desire to grow above and beyond her original job description. An example would be taking on additional accounting responsibilities so we can save money by not having to hire an outside accountant as much (and she juggles…bonus).

Brian: In one year, Brian started a brand new division and made it a brand name in the community. In October alone he put in countless extra hours with the scoreboard project, which has had implications for our news division. He’s gone above and beyond for the Recycle Moore campaign and is paving the way for a massive campaign with Andy Alligators. All while laying the groundwork for a newer division coming soon that will further increase Trifecta’s market share. On many evenings, he’ll leave for dinner with his family and then return to the office to continue working on various projects.

Aleta: Mom is the lifeblood of Trifecta. She is the chief rain maker and has done a great job of taking our various ideas and turning them into dollars. As with the rest of our staff, she’s also willing to jump in at any time to get things done, above what she normally has to do. When most people in the community think “Trifecta” they usually think of Aleta long before they think of me. She has done a remarkable job of growing our brand through sales…and most of that through hitting the pavement every day (she and Armand broke all our company records for November Moore Monthly sales).

This all adds up to a “dream staff” that will someday be the leaders of this industry we find ourselves in. I truly hope and pray that in the very near future, Trifecta will have the ability to financially compensate each of you for what you’re worth. In the meantime, please know that I greatly appreciate your willingness to work hard, to take pride in your work and maintain a phenomenal attitude. It actually disturbs me that I can’t increase your take-home pay immediately.

All of this has created a tremendous drive within me to raise the company to the next level…not just for me, but for you. I owe (and I don’t just mean the bank). I owe each of you a tremendous debt of gratitude for all the things I’ve listed above and much more…and I intend to repay that through the success of our company as we strive forward.

Thanks for being such an awesome team.

- Brent

Why? Makes a Difference

A tremendous amount of energy is spent on finding and implementing the best ways to create environments in which the people we hire can be most productive.

Most of the time we hire or promote someone with a general feel-good discussion of why we chose them to do a particular job. Sometimes but not often, a leader tells the employee what they must “do” but to succeed at the job but almost always leave out “why” it must be done. The jobholder is so excited and maybe also intimidated to such a degree that they don’t even think to ask “why” this job is important enough for the organization to pay them to do it.

Next time you play a board game, check out the “rules” or “getting started” information included in the instructions. There is oftentimes more detail there on how to play and how to win than what we give to the people whom we are paying to play in our organizations!

What if we could improve the performance of not just the newbie’s we hire or employees we promote, but even those who have been with us for a while by simply sharing with them “why” we hired them (i.e. why their job is important), what our expectations are (what success looks like) and what they need to be able to know or do to succeed?

The solution is a communication and benchmarking tool called My Job’s ScoreCard. This tool gives a leader and the jobholder the opportunity to define what is important, even critical to job success and gives everyone involved information that is also meaningful, affirming and applicable to improving real, important “work”.

The ScoreCard is composed of three critical parts:
1. Why? in 8 Words or Less: A clarifying statement of the job’s core purpose in eight words or less in the format verb/target/outcome.
2. Outcomes: These are visionary things that must naturally happen if the jobholder is focused on the Why? in 8 Words or Less) and doing the work as well as possible.
3. Competencies: This is a list of the skills, abilities and talents, the jobholder needs to get the Outcomes identified above.

If you want more, send an email to Michael@IntendToLead.com and I will send you a more detailed explanation and a template.

relentless execution
what most of us get caught up in is being busy.
we take pride in having a full schedule.
but all that indicates is that someone else may want to look busy too.
it doesn’t mean that anything meaningful gets done.

getting something meaningful done.
it means doing something that has a purpose. an end goal.
assuming you are getting paid for it, everything you do during the day, everything, should be an answer to why your organization pays you to have a full schedule.

why exactly did they hire you?
my experience is that it isn’t just employees who are not clear on exactly why they are getting paid, neither do the organizations who make good their paychecks.

you got hired to get something done.
something that someone else couldn’t do
intellectually,
physically,
emotionally, or
financially.

the more clear you are on what “the something done” is that you are getting paid to do,
the more quickly you will advance,
the more money you will make,
the more valuable you will be to the organization,
the more fun you will have.

want clarity? try this:
in 8 words or less, write a sentence that tells why your organization pays you.
write it in the form: verb/target/outcome.
it’s not complicated, nor is it very romantic. it’s just straightforward.
here’s some examples:
lead sales team to increased, profitable sales performance.
lead team to “do” our mission.
encourage and develop efficiencies toward better customer outcomes.
lead a culture of excellence where the team and families thrive.

relentlessly execute around any of those 8 word clarity statements and the world will change.
relentlessly execute around your 8 word clarity statement and let me know what happens.

Choose One

A meeting should be held for only one of three reasons:

1. To share information or,
2. To gather information, like brainstorming the solution to a problem or,
3. To implement a decision.

A meeting to accomplish any one of the above can be done effectively. Do more than one at a time and the result will be frustration and misuse of resources.

You will notice “to make a decision” is not in that list. Making a decision has to have a champion. Someone to take the responsibility to get something done. i cannot think of an actual situation where much if anything gets done well when any group of people in any organization have to decide and implement.

Leadership is about getting stuff done. Leadership is about using scarce resources (time, energy, knowledge, money) for the best return. Meetings are a leadership tool.

While it is important to share and gather information, it is critical that someone be responsible for implementing some sort of action and then be held accountable for results.

What a mess.

Eight really bright, passionate people in a room.  For the third time.  To put an action plan together to solve a specific problem.

We did our homework.  We new what the problem was in detail.  We even got employees who were inside the problem together to help define the issues and even offer solutions.  Pretty good ones.  We compiled the responses, which were consistent, and looked at the recommendations, which were seemingly right on, inexpensive to implement and within the abilities of the people at the table to do and do well.

If it’s fun we were about. This was it.  The conversation was mostly in good humor.  The relationships were strong. Lots of opinions, passion and logical thinking.  We were talking about issues that were really important to the vitality and success of the whole company.  If we could solve them, and I am absolutely confident we could, it would mean a lot to everyone at the table and our decisions would positively affect a lot of people.  Significantly.

But we weren’t getting anything done.  Great conversation, great ideas, great passion.  No action.

Help!  What’s missing here?

Lots of really good people and no leader.  No one owner-leader with responsibility to make a decision, develop a plan, implement, monitor, adjust and continuously improve.  No champion who would marshal resources, get advice, weigh options, get approval and execute.

Leadership is everything. Again.

What follows are the often delightful and consistently insightful responses to a previous post that asked you to respond to “leadership is not a task, it’s a way of being.”

From Valentin Stoica of Search Ltd based in Bucharest, Romania:

I have chosen two examples from my recent experience during these hard times of crisis:

From my cousin Rick Smith, a dentist in Aptos, CA

What I have learned is to always believe in myself. That most of all God’s grace is with me, weather I ask for it or not. The trick is to have faith that I will succeed. Yes I have surrounded myself with individuals who encourage me, but my desire to continue to grow along spiritual lines is my most inspirational drive. I have come to realize that I am tremendously successful in whatever I do. It just comes. That is the miracle of it. Hard to explain I just continue to make progress, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, the point is I continue to grow.

From Jeff Meziere, an executive with Asbury Medical, OKC

I never ask someone to do something that I would not be willing to do myself.

And with each passing day, I try more frequently to explain the “why” we are doing something instead of just “because”.

From Boe Parish, a founder and President of Corporate Care, OKC

As a leader of followers and a leader of leaders, the role is similar: I seek to SERVE at every opportunity possible, I seek to LISTEN at every opportunity possible, I seek to INVOLVE COUNSEL from the wisest people at every opportunity possible, and I seek to BE COMPASSION at every opportunity possible!

From Tim Lindsey, President of Central Glass, OKC

Dale Hageman, CEO Accord Human Resources, recently wrote an Opinion for OKC Biz titled The Price of Leadership.  One of his points was “Be deliberately ethical.”  As human beings (a.k.a. sinners) this is so much easier said than done.

I like to believe that I am an ethical leader.  And in most cases, (at least in the “big”, obvious, or public business situations) my moral compass is pointing true north.  But where I am often convicted, and where I have to focus, is in the small, private, or personal areas of my. This is the “lifestyle” we have to live.  Otherwise, we are simply putting on a “mask” or living different lives.  And this ultimately catches up with us and destroys our credibility and authenticity.

From Bruce Bockus, President of Bockus Payne Associates Architects, OKC

An older wiser friend once told me “Leaders lead by serving, servants serve by leading.”  This tells me a leader’s life is one of service – as a leader we are not above any task.  This takes humility and eyes wide open to the needs around us.  With Jesus as our example – when He washed his disciples feet and then instructed His disciples: “Now that you know these things, go and do likewise”.  Nothing is too high or too low in a leader’s job description.  A leader’s lifestyle is one of service, not position.  With that in mind I make it my habit, not to wash feet, but massage necks.  In 24 years of private practice, I have never had any guy (its a guy only thing) tell me to stop.

From Brian Knott, Purchasing/Inventory Control at Gemini Coatings, El Reno, OK

As a leader, you have to go places others dare not go.

These were just a couple of thoughts that came into my head.

From Tim Woolery, Entrpreneur, Moon Chemical Products, OKC

Leadership never turns off, it carries over to everything you are involved in. Leadership in the business world can be about setting the culture, the vision and cheerleading. Leadership away from work can often be demonstrated as “Servant Leadership”, leading by example, quietly providing for others, being good team players allowing other leaders to lead and supporting their efforts.

From Sam Whitey, an Engineer at Coon Engineering, OKC

I relate to this question in the form of being a leader for my kids. Yes, I feel at work I’m a leader, but at home, being a parent, I find myself TRYING to be the best example I can be. For my kids, I find myself doing this mostly at church. At St Johns in Yukon, I am a lector. I openly pray, sing, and express my love of God. This being the example I am trying to set. I am showing my two sons that, yes, you must be a leader, for your friends, for your future family. I am setting an example for my daughter. I want her to see me praying, singing, and showing her what a strong Catholic male needs to do and be. Thus showing her a template for a future mate.

Being a leader to me is best expressed through my family.

“Leadership is not an occasional task – it’s a way of being.”

My experience tells me the above is true.  I’d like to share more about that with you and, since all of you who read this are leaders, I would like to hear what you think.

Ponder the following question and respond back to me:

If leadership is a way of being, what do you do differently or not do because it is a life style?

Please, let me know what you think.

I will compile  your answers and even credit you.  Once done, I will share the responses.  I think the result could be really interesting and helpful.

nic was born with a muscle disease that’s as tough to say as it is to spell.

regardless of what it is called, from the moment he breathed his first breath, nic’s disability had to be a significant factor in determining his future.

or, maybe not.

all of us are borne with a sort of psychological baggage that significantly influences who we become. as well, we either develop and use physical attributes and capabilities to our advantage or, overcome and compensate for them if they cause us to stumble.  it’s not so important what you come into the world with, but more importantly, what you do with it.  nic no doubt came into the world having to draw to an inside straight.

if you know who greg burns is, nic has the same disability.  it is more than the way their bodies deal with gravity that makes them great friends.  greg paints beautiful pictures holding a brush between his teeth.  nic can walk, albeit with a lot of side to side motion that he has learned to translate into forward motion.  nic spends some time in a wheel chair, simply because it takes a lot of energy to walk.  nic can use his hands, although to do what you and i do without thinking, he has had to devise creative and unusual motions with his body that we wouldn’t recognize.

he has callouses and scars on most visible parts of his body from falling down and not being able to catch himself.  while he couldn’t stop the fall, he has always managed to get up, even if it is often with the help of someone else.

today he is in his late 20′s and married to a beautiful woman.  he is surrounded by a terrific family.  nic has a really good mind. he has a steady job and fun hobbies.  while life is not easy, i am absolutely positive that he would say life is good.

he can coast.  which he has chosen not to do.

this past weekend, nic rode an arm-driven trike one hundred miles along the coast of california and not just along the flat shoreline, but also way, way up into the hills, steep hills, near and around Santa Barbara using his semi-functional arms and sinuey shoulders.

i had the honor of being there to see him finish.  it was something like i have never seen before.  a man who has overcome more suffering and obstacles in his short but influential life than most will face in multiple lifetimes, he had to ride almost twice as long as everyone else to cover the same distance.  he started at dawn and finished in the moonlight – something like 15 hours of pedaling.  with his arms.

i can see my 60th year on the horizon and you might think that all the people that i want to emulate have gone before me.  not all.  i want the “i-can” that nick has.  I want to take what i have been given and make a treasure out of it.

like nic.

I had an excellent cup of coffee this morning with a very attractive lady-friend.

What makes her attractive is how her soul works.

She is hungry to become something more than what she is.  Up to this point, she has been the collection of experiences at which she finds herself at the epicenter.  Her experiences like yours and mine are rich, varied, painful, contradictory.

They have made her what she is. She has worked hard to make sense of them, to put them in some sort of order while getting through the next one.

Her story is my story.  And probably your story.

We persevere through whatever is happening to us.  We look back at the experience when it is over and, if we make time (a very big if that is) we try to figure out what all of it meant, if anything.

Most of the time, we are in the middle of the next drama and don’t take time to make sense of anything.  We are too busy coping.  Then we die.

Back to my attractive friend.

Now, in confident humility she is making time to think what her creator has in mind for her.  She is seeking to define what she was destined for, where all of who she is fits and it works. And in little pieces her boundary lines are falling in pleasant places.

I think she would tell you it’s sorta hard work – uncovering what we should be doing and just as importantly, how we should be doing it.  Sometimes, it’s even a bit painful.

But maybe that’s what I find attractive about her.  She perseveres.  She knows what she wants and is willing to do the hard work to get it.

Wouldn’t you like to know someone like that?  I am honored.