i would prefer to say they escaped.  that would absolve me of some responsibility.  but in reality, they were released.  i opened the door and marshaled the forces for the attack.  i led the charge.

you see, i have experience with such words.  they are my warriors on my team.  once loosed,  their object is victory.  total and non negotiable victory.  victory is consummated when both i and the vanquished know that i am wiser, stronger, smarter and more witty.

the trouble is that my warriors are very often only satisfied with scorched earth results.  once loosed to accomplish their goal, they know no retreat.  they do the damage they are trained for and then find a long life in the memory of those i have beaten down.

i know that, because i have been beaten down.  and in defense, i have trained my word soldiers well.  to strike, to wound, even to cause emotional and spiritual chaos and then find high ground where victory can be savored.

when the guy across the table unwittingly began assaulting my values, i did have the good sense and wisdom to take defensive measures by focusing on eating my food, ask clarifying questions and mostly keep my mouth shut.  I also employed the tactic of excusing myself to release the pressure the too numerous diet cokes with grenadine were having on my bladder.  in the privacy of the boy’s room i could privately consider my raging and conflicting thoughts and confine them to mental quarters.

at this point i was feeling pretty good about myself.

then waterloo.

the guy across the table showed a weakness by finally rhetorically asking if i thought he “needed help?”  i responded.  without restraint.  the tsunami which had been contained was released.  the words i had held at bay now found voice and the pain inflicted was evident on his countenance as well as those of my friends who were patiently waiting for the uncomfortable lunch meeting to end.

the warrior words executed their mission efficiently and effectively.

and end it did.  i was immediately sorry and embarrassed. i had to apologize.  not one of my best skills.  i violated my own principles of building relationships with people that were good for both of us.  my personal goal is to be a reflection of my creator to all with whom i come into contact.

i screwed up.

From Valentin Stoica of Search Ltd based in Bucharest, Romania:

I have chosen two examples from my recent experience during these hard times of crisis:

From my cousin Rick Smith, a dentist in Aptos, CA

What I have learned is to always believe in myself. That most of all God’s grace is with me, weather I ask for it or not. The trick is to have faith that I will succeed. Yes I have surrounded myself with individuals who encourage me, but my desire to continue to grow along spiritual lines is my most inspirational drive. I have come to realize that I am tremendously successful in whatever I do. It just comes. That is the miracle of it. Hard to explain I just continue to make progress, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, the point is I continue to grow.

From Jeff Meziere, an executive with Asbury Medical, OKC

I never ask someone to do something that I would not be willing to do myself.

And with each passing day, I try more frequently to explain the “why” we are doing something instead of just “because”.

From Boe Parish, a founder and President of Corporate Care, OKC

As a leader of followers and a leader of leaders, the role is similar: I seek to SERVE at every opportunity possible, I seek to LISTEN at every opportunity possible, I seek to INVOLVE COUNSEL from the wisest people at every opportunity possible, and I seek to BE COMPASSION at every opportunity possible!

From Tim Lindsey, President of Central Glass, OKC

Dale Hageman, CEO Accord Human Resources, recently wrote an Opinion for OKC Biz titled The Price of Leadership.  One of his points was “Be deliberately ethical.”  As human beings (a.k.a. sinners) this is so much easier said than done.

I like to believe that I am an ethical leader.  And in most cases, (at least in the “big”, obvious, or public business situations) my moral compass is pointing true north.  But where I am often convicted, and where I have to focus, is in the small, private, or personal areas of my. This is the “lifestyle” we have to live.  Otherwise, we are simply putting on a “mask” or living different lives.  And this ultimately catches up with us and destroys our credibility and authenticity.

From Bruce Bockus, President of Bockus Payne Associates Architects, OKC

An older wiser friend once told me “Leaders lead by serving, servants serve by leading.”  This tells me a leader’s life is one of service – as a leader we are not above any task.  This takes humility and eyes wide open to the needs around us.  With Jesus as our example – when He washed his disciples feet and then instructed His disciples: “Now that you know these things, go and do likewise”.  Nothing is too high or too low in a leader’s job description.  A leader’s lifestyle is one of service, not position.  With that in mind I make it my habit, not to wash feet, but massage necks.  In 24 years of private practice, I have never had any guy (its a guy only thing) tell me to stop.

From Brian Knott, Purchasing/Inventory Control at Gemini Coatings, El Reno, OK

As a leader, you have to go places others dare not go.

These were just a couple of thoughts that came into my head.

From Tim Woolery, Entrpreneur, Moon Chemical Products, OKC

Leadership never turns off, it carries over to everything you are involved in. Leadership in the business world can be about setting the culture, the vision and cheerleading. Leadership away from work can often be demonstrated as “Servant Leadership”, leading by example, quietly providing for others, being good team players allowing other leaders to lead and supporting their efforts.

From Sam Whitey, an Engineer at Coon Engineering, OKC

I relate to this question in the form of being a leader for my kids. Yes, I feel at work I’m a leader, but at home, being a parent, I find myself TRYING to be the best example I can be. For my kids, I find myself doing this mostly at church. At St Johns in Yukon, I am a lector. I openly pray, sing, and express my love of God. This being the example I am trying to set. I am showing my two sons that, yes, you must be a leader, for your friends, for your future family. I am setting an example for my daughter. I want her to see me praying, singing, and showing her what a strong Catholic male needs to do and be. Thus showing her a template for a future mate.

Being a leader to me is best expressed through my family.

My experience tells me the above is true.  I’d like to share more about that with you and, since all of you who read this are leaders, I would like to hear what you think.

Ponder the following question and respond back to me:

If leadership is a way of being, what do you do differently or not do because it is a life style?

Please, let me know what you think.

I will compile  your answers and even credit you.  Once done, I will share the responses.  I think the result could be really interesting and helpful.

regardless of what it is called, from the moment he breathed his first breath, nic’s disability had to be a significant factor in determining his future.

or, maybe not.

all of us are borne with a sort of psychological baggage that significantly influences who we become. as well, we either develop and use physical attributes and capabilities to our advantage or, overcome and compensate for them if they cause us to stumble.  it’s not so important what you come into the world with, but more importantly, what you do with it.  nic no doubt came into the world having to draw to an inside straight.

if you know who greg burns is, nic has the same disability.  it is more than the way their bodies deal with gravity that makes them great friends.  greg paints beautiful pictures holding a brush between his teeth.  nic can walk, albeit with a lot of side to side motion that he has learned to translate into forward motion.  nic spends some time in a wheel chair, simply because it takes a lot of energy to walk.  nic can use his hands, although to do what you and i do without thinking, he has had to devise creative and unusual motions with his body that we wouldn’t recognize.

he has callouses and scars on most visible parts of his body from falling down and not being able to catch himself.  while he couldn’t stop the fall, he has always managed to get up, even if it is often with the help of someone else.

today he is in his late 20′s and married to a beautiful woman.  he is surrounded by a terrific family.  nic has a really good mind. he has a steady job and fun hobbies.  while life is not easy, i am absolutely positive that he would say life is good.

he can coast.  which he has chosen not to do.

this past weekend, nic rode an arm-driven trike one hundred miles along the coast of california and not just along the flat shoreline, but also way, way up into the hills, steep hills, near and around Santa Barbara using his semi-functional arms and sinuey shoulders.

i had the honor of being there to see him finish.  it was something like i have never seen before.  a man who has overcome more suffering and obstacles in his short but influential life than most will face in multiple lifetimes, he had to ride almost twice as long as everyone else to cover the same distance.  he started at dawn and finished in the moonlight – something like 15 hours of pedaling.  with his arms.

i can see my 60th year on the horizon and you might think that all the people that i want to emulate have gone before me.  not all.  i want the “i-can” that nick has.  I want to take what i have been given and make a treasure out of it.

like nic.

What makes her attractive is how her soul works.

She is hungry to become something more than what she is.  Up to this point, she has been the collection of experiences at which she finds herself at the epicenter.  Her experiences like yours and mine are rich, varied, painful, contradictory.

They have made her what she is. She has worked hard to make sense of them, to put them in some sort of order while getting through the next one.

Her story is my story.  And probably your story.

We persevere through whatever is happening to us.  We look back at the experience when it is over and, if we make time (a very big if that is) we try to figure out what all of it meant, if anything.

Most of the time, we are in the middle of the next drama and don’t take time to make sense of anything.  We are too busy coping.  Then we die.

Back to my attractive friend.

Now, in confident humility she is making time to think what her creator has in mind for her.  She is seeking to define what she was destined for, where all of who she is fits and it works. And in little pieces her boundary lines are falling in pleasant places.

I think she would tell you it’s sorta hard work – uncovering what we should be doing and just as importantly, how we should be doing it.  Sometimes, it’s even a bit painful.

But maybe that’s what I find attractive about her.  She perseveres.  She knows what she wants and is willing to do the hard work to get it.

Wouldn’t you like to know someone like that?  I am honored.

That’s the back of his head behind the camera.

His blue t-shirt like that of the rest of his team is proclaiming a cool new opportunity for his subscribers to make their own mini-tv shows that can end up on a community news site where they can be viewed by almost anyone.

In the photo with Brent is one of his team interviewing a local state politician.  The show, filmed at the Moore annual 4^th of July picnic, will be on their “MMTV” (see above).

His mantra is “no beige boxes” (it’s all about innovation), and that doesn’t just apply to ideas or the services his organization, it applies to how he does business, treats his own team members and especially his customers.

If you don’t know or don’t remember, it was really hot this past weekend.  Every single member of his small but enthusiastic team worked the picnic.  Most of them way past dark and after the fireworks show.  Did he pay them?  Yes.  But not a lot.  Did they have to be there?  Yep.  It was important to the organization. Did they enjoy being there?  Also, affirmative.  And as you might guess, it was the enjoyment that made a difference both to the team and to every person with whom the team came into contact.

Can you make that happen in your organization?

I can tell you how Brent does it in his.  He treats every single member of his organization as capable and with just a little direction and lots of information as people who together can make decisions and implement stuff that serves their customers well and gets them all what they want.

And it works.

The heavens declare the glory of God,

And the sky proclaims his handiwork.

Psalm 19

I am aware of God’s handiwork:

The grandeur of mountains that point to the textures of water gently formed by shy winds,

Snow crowning the same in purity of color revealing the dark perseverance of rock beneath sculpted by thousands of drops of rain

and then sanded smooth by his breath,

Unaccountable trees worshipping, reaching to the proclaiming sky and gently swaying in rhythm to music only a holy-tuned ear can hear,

Handiwork is evident wherever there is light.  Even we who put weak words to the infinite make their presence known;

Sometimes shouting unnecessarily so that he will notice and nod.

All we want is to know that someone cares.

Tell me once again.  Tell me over and over again I too am handiwork proclaimed.

Water Skiing Will Change Your Life

It’s 8 a.m.  A light rain.  It’s 57 degrees.  I have a t-shirt and a sweatshirt on covered by my rain jacket with my favorite cap and the hood is up.  I am drinking sweet hot coffee out of a thermal mug.  There’s snow on the mountains that dive into the water surrounding the Young Life Camp here at Malibu in British Columbia.  Seals play in the water that is 3 degrees warmer than the air.  Eagles circle overhead. Life is good.  God is good.  This is peace.

Until I notice that there is a kid in the water squarely behind a ski boat yelling, “hit it!”  R U Kidding Me?  And, there’s a high school girl standing on the dock in a bikini and a wet life jacket waiting her turn to try.  What is going down here?

In the midst of weird fun, rock and roll, pretty girls, handsome boys, energy overflowing, Jesus walks, and grins.  Causing people to do kingdom kinds of stuff, like trying things they’ve never tried before.  Water skiing in cold water. Loving the unlovable.  Loving themselves.  Loving God.  Changing lives for the better, forever.  Life is good.  God is good.  This is peace.

The following is a mildly edited letter of encouragement to a new college graduate who just landed a job as a reporter for a startup from her very wise boss.  Enjoy the reminders of what’s important to even old(er) guys like me.

You’ve got great potential. I’ve seen flashes of it. And you’re tremendously organized. But to be perfectly honest, you either don’t seem to understand what it takes to be great…or maybe you haven’t reached the point where you’re willing to pay the price to be great.

The price of greatness is time. And when I say time, I mean LOTS of time. For little pay at this stage of your career

And yes…it means more time than you’ve been willing to invest so far.

It doesn’t mean sitting at the office waiting for people to return emails or phone calls. It doesn’t mean getting your information about a game or a match or tournament after it’s over. You’ll never be great by showing up at a golf tournament four hours after it starts or talking to a coach or player about getting run-ruled by his rival the day after the emotions have settled somewhat. You get there by sitting in the press box with a coach and giving him pizza as a six-hour track meet winds down. You get there by having long conversations with a kid or a parent that may not reveal anything “major” 9 out of 10 times, but maybe he drops a bombshell on you…like “I just found out I have a medical condition that has ended my career.” You get there by watching the games. You get there by learning the difference between scoring “runs” in baseball as opposed to scoring “points.” Sometimes it’s exciting…others it’s tedious and boring, because life is like that.

And frankly, you’ll only do that day in, day out only if you absolutely LOVE what you do. Not love the office you work in because it’s cool and you have nifty new equipment. Not love the people you work with because they’re fun to be around. Not love the career because you get to go to games and talk to people. I mean LOVE the sport. LOVE soaking it in. LOVE the experience of seeing it unfold in front of you and LOVE telling the story so that others can fall in love with what you love about it.

You’re showing glimpses of a willingness to be great. But it’s only coming in pieces here and there. And until you’re ready to pay the price of spending time it’s only going to continue coming in pieces here and there.

I love working with (every member of our team),…trying to help you become the people you can be. Not just the reporters or designers you can be…but the whole person. I treasure the chance to have these kinds of conversations with you, hard though they may be to have. I have nothing but the highest of hopes for you and for your co-workers because I can see the potential each of you has.

But you’re not going to reach that potential without investing time. A LOT of time.

I don’t believe there’s anything I can do that will make you love your job and want to do it more or do it better. I believe the best way for you have to arrive at that decision is to find it yourself. You have to fall in love with what you’re doing. Not with all of the peripheral things that come with being a reporter or a sports reporter like the recognition or the people you know or that you get to go to games and talk to those who play them. Those are nice things, but they’re fleeting at best. Falling in love with the experience, the relationships and the telling of stories. Falling in love with the crafting of a story that you can’t wait to write.

My experience is, not many.

Because the man or woman we work for is a whacko.
Because the people we work with are incompetent and unmotivated
(and we, of course, are competent and motivated).
Because our customers or clients are insensitive and overly demanding.
Because we are never paid what we are worth.
Because we don’t get the right benefits or, have to pay too much for them.

I can go on, but I am thinking you are identifying, or at least getting the idea.

Look through the above list of sources of misery.
They are all about someone else.

You can say that the king of Israel had it made and could afford to say good stuff about his place in life,
but the fact is, interestingly enough, that there is very little correlation between job satisfaction and position titles.
Maybe, like the fallen poet-king, we of less fortune can improve our lot in life by looking past the immediate and focus instead
on that which outlives us.

After he says, “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places” King David declares “Surely, I have a delightful inheritance.”  His inheritance, what he was given, was the framework in which he made sense of the immediate non-sensical stuff.

Do you think maybe if we knew what we’ve been given and for what purpose, the distractions might be nothing more than character building?