i would prefer to say they escaped.  that would absolve me of some responsibility.  but in reality, they were released.  i opened the door and marshaled the forces for the attack.  i led the charge.

you see, i have experience with such words.  they are my warriors on my team.  once loosed,  their object is victory.  total and non negotiable victory.  victory is consummated when both i and the vanquished know that i am wiser, stronger, smarter and more witty.

the trouble is that my warriors are very often only satisfied with scorched earth results.  once loosed to accomplish their goal, they know no retreat.  they do the damage they are trained for and then find a long life in the memory of those i have beaten down.

i know that, because i have been beaten down.  and in defense, i have trained my word soldiers well.  to strike, to wound, even to cause emotional and spiritual chaos and then find high ground where victory can be savored.

when the guy across the table unwittingly began assaulting my values, i did have the good sense and wisdom to take defensive measures by focusing on eating my food, ask clarifying questions and mostly keep my mouth shut.  I also employed the tactic of excusing myself to release the pressure the too numerous diet cokes with grenadine were having on my bladder.  in the privacy of the boy’s room i could privately consider my raging and conflicting thoughts and confine them to mental quarters.

at this point i was feeling pretty good about myself.

then waterloo.

the guy across the table showed a weakness by finally rhetorically asking if i thought he “needed help?”  i responded.  without restraint.  the tsunami which had been contained was released.  the words i had held at bay now found voice and the pain inflicted was evident on his countenance as well as those of my friends who were patiently waiting for the uncomfortable lunch meeting to end.

the warrior words executed their mission efficiently and effectively.

and end it did.  i was immediately sorry and embarrassed. i had to apologize.  not one of my best skills.  i violated my own principles of building relationships with people that were good for both of us.  my personal goal is to be a reflection of my creator to all with whom i come into contact.

i screwed up.

Trifecta’s mantra is generating innovation that makes money and changes the world. I think they are a good bet to make it happen.

Team Trifecta,

It occurred to me that I asked for your Saturday evening to help with Haunt Old Town last weekend, and you guys responded…just like that. No questions, you just did it. But it gets even better; no one complained. No one! You guys went above and beyond your normal job duties, you did it professionally, happily and with a great positive spirit…and nowhere along the way did anyone say, “man, it really sucks that we have to do all this extra crap.” Actually, you guys have never complained about going above and beyond…and you go above and beyond incessantly! Here are a few things I’ve noticed over the past month or so from each of you:

Rob: I came into the office on a Saturday afternoon earlier in October and there was Rob, working away. In fact, Rob showed up for work the day after having a severe motorcycle accident. The day after! Often times he has to stay late to finish a story because he was working with me during the day to revamp our website or meet with consultants or brainstorm on something. No complaints from Rob, in fact nothing ever seems to phase Rob.

Luke: Luke is a workhorse…no other way to put it. Every home football game he’s there, shooting video…then returning to the office after the game to file his report and edit. On other occasions he stays late to edit various projects and juggles three bosses (me, Rob and Brian) and has shown a tremendous desire to grow. I’ve never seen anyone in the news business work as hard as Luke.

Clancey: On numerous occasions I’ve dropped by the office on a Friday night, sometimes after midnight, and there’s Clancey working away on a sports story (and sometimes Luke and Rob are there at that hour too…but always Clancey). When the police standoff occurred several weeks ago, Clancey immediately switched hats from sports to news and didn’t miss a beat…on a Saturday night…after having covered sports all afternoon. It’s awesome to see Luke and Clancey after every football game, out on the field doing video reports, interviews with coaches, players, etc….which have become some of the highest rated videos on our website. Remarkable.

Armand: There are many, many evenings when Armand and mom are off at a chamber event networking in an effort to lay the groundwork for future sales…after a full day hitting the streets selling. And during the day, when there’s very little extra time to spare, Armand has shown a great desire to sit-in on creative services or news meetings, contributing to those meetings and demonstrating a desire to take-on additional tasks…not tasks we assign him…tasks he asks for! And he has a true heart to serve…Armand happily stood for hours handing out candy to kids at Haunt Old Town…the least glamorous job of the night, but no complaints. And like the rest of our staff, always a refreshingly positive approach to everything.

Elaine: Nothing gets by Elaine…nothing. Each and every time I’ve asked anything above and beyond from Elaine, she’s there. At most every major Trifecta event, Elaine is the chief organizer, making sure everything is getting done…whether that be organizing a drawing at Haunt Old Town or setting up our booth for the South Chamber Octoberfest. And much like the rest of our staff, she’s shown a great desire to grow above and beyond her original job description. An example would be taking on additional accounting responsibilities so we can save money by not having to hire an outside accountant as much (and she juggles…bonus).

Brian: In one year, Brian started a brand new division and made it a brand name in the community. In October alone he put in countless extra hours with the scoreboard project, which has had implications for our news division. He’s gone above and beyond for the Recycle Moore campaign and is paving the way for a massive campaign with Andy Alligators. All while laying the groundwork for a newer division coming soon that will further increase Trifecta’s market share. On many evenings, he’ll leave for dinner with his family and then return to the office to continue working on various projects.

Aleta: Mom is the lifeblood of Trifecta. She is the chief rain maker and has done a great job of taking our various ideas and turning them into dollars. As with the rest of our staff, she’s also willing to jump in at any time to get things done, above what she normally has to do. When most people in the community think “Trifecta” they usually think of Aleta long before they think of me. She has done a remarkable job of growing our brand through sales…and most of that through hitting the pavement every day (she and Armand broke all our company records for November Moore Monthly sales).

This all adds up to a “dream staff” that will someday be the leaders of this industry we find ourselves in. I truly hope and pray that in the very near future, Trifecta will have the ability to financially compensate each of you for what you’re worth. In the meantime, please know that I greatly appreciate your willingness to work hard, to take pride in your work and maintain a phenomenal attitude. It actually disturbs me that I can’t increase your take-home pay immediately.

All of this has created a tremendous drive within me to raise the company to the next level…not just for me, but for you. I owe (and I don’t just mean the bank). I owe each of you a tremendous debt of gratitude for all the things I’ve listed above and much more…and I intend to repay that through the success of our company as we strive forward.

Thanks for being such an awesome team.

- Brent

My experience tells me the above is true.  I’d like to share more about that with you and, since all of you who read this are leaders, I would like to hear what you think.

Ponder the following question and respond back to me:

If leadership is a way of being, what do you do differently or not do because it is a life style?

Please, let me know what you think.

I will compile  your answers and even credit you.  Once done, I will share the responses.  I think the result could be really interesting and helpful.

That’s the back of his head behind the camera.

His blue t-shirt like that of the rest of his team is proclaiming a cool new opportunity for his subscribers to make their own mini-tv shows that can end up on a community news site where they can be viewed by almost anyone.

In the photo with Brent is one of his team interviewing a local state politician.  The show, filmed at the Moore annual 4^th of July picnic, will be on their “MMTV” (see above).

His mantra is “no beige boxes” (it’s all about innovation), and that doesn’t just apply to ideas or the services his organization, it applies to how he does business, treats his own team members and especially his customers.

If you don’t know or don’t remember, it was really hot this past weekend.  Every single member of his small but enthusiastic team worked the picnic.  Most of them way past dark and after the fireworks show.  Did he pay them?  Yes.  But not a lot.  Did they have to be there?  Yep.  It was important to the organization. Did they enjoy being there?  Also, affirmative.  And as you might guess, it was the enjoyment that made a difference both to the team and to every person with whom the team came into contact.

Can you make that happen in your organization?

I can tell you how Brent does it in his.  He treats every single member of his organization as capable and with just a little direction and lots of information as people who together can make decisions and implement stuff that serves their customers well and gets them all what they want.

And it works.

My experience is, not many.

Because the man or woman we work for is a whacko.
Because the people we work with are incompetent and unmotivated
(and we, of course, are competent and motivated).
Because our customers or clients are insensitive and overly demanding.
Because we are never paid what we are worth.
Because we don’t get the right benefits or, have to pay too much for them.

I can go on, but I am thinking you are identifying, or at least getting the idea.

Look through the above list of sources of misery.
They are all about someone else.

You can say that the king of Israel had it made and could afford to say good stuff about his place in life,
but the fact is, interestingly enough, that there is very little correlation between job satisfaction and position titles.
Maybe, like the fallen poet-king, we of less fortune can improve our lot in life by looking past the immediate and focus instead
on that which outlives us.

After he says, “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places” King David declares “Surely, I have a delightful inheritance.”  His inheritance, what he was given, was the framework in which he made sense of the immediate non-sensical stuff.

Do you think maybe if we knew what we’ve been given and for what purpose, the distractions might be nothing more than character building?

Belonging, AFFIRMATION and Meaning

The 3 Things Everybody Wants

Once a person’s physical and safety needs are taken care of, everybody (and I mean every human being with a heartbeat) wants 3 things: BAM! Belonging, Affirmation and Meaning.  You can be an effective leader if all you do is work on creating:

• an organization to which people want to Belong,
• opportunities for Affirmation and
• Meaning in the jobs you offer.

Now, more objective evidence for the value of AFFIRMATION from the USA Today, Tuesday, January 11, 2011.

The headline: Youth Prefer Praise to Sex, Booze

The content, edited for space:

Sex, booze or money just can’t compare with the jolt young people get from a boost to their self-esteem, says a new study of college students that found the desire for praise trumped other desires or needs.

“We looked at all the things college students love and they love self-esteem more,” says lead author Brad Bushman, a professor communications and psychology at Ohio State University in Columbus.

Using questionnaires that included the Narcissistic Personality Inventory, researchers at Ohio State and Brookhaven National Laboratory in Upton, N.Y., conducted two separate studies of 282 students that gauged the desire for praise, as well as the desire to engage in sex, drink alcohol, get a pay-check, eat a favorite food or see a best friend.  They favored experiences that boosted self-esteem, such as receiving a good grade or a compliment.

Really, I didn’t make it up.  The power of AFFIRMATION is stronger than we think.

The first item on the agenda was to look at the past year and list The Things That Worked. We didn’t just make a list, we talked about not only what happened, but why it worked and what was good about it.  I talk a lot about the value of affirmation as a foundational leadership and relational tool and this little introductory exercise was a real opportunity to affirm not only the people that did the work, but also those on the board who facilitated the wins and often even physically participated in some of them.  By the way, all of the wins were listed on a wipeboard so it was also very visual.

The second thing we did was to talk about The Things That Didn’t. This activity took some trust and audacity to talk about things we as a board had either hatched as an idea to be executed, or said grace over.  While we only officially meet monthly for about an hour and a half, we work pretty hard on knowing each other recognizing that trust-based relationships are key to making any team work.  Fortunately the list of things that didn’t work was small but nonetheless, the list was honest and pretty complete. I think our work on knowing each other paid off.

The third thing that we spent some time on was looking at the previous year and considering The Things That Worked and The Things That Didn’t and discussed What We Learned As An Organization.  That is, what we learned as an organization that we should repeat and what were those things we will either do differently next time or avoid completely.  The conversation was terrific and lead into an overview of opportunities that we need to tackle as we move forward this year.

The three things we did weren’t rocket science or even a big secret, it’s just that with just a bit of investment in effective relationships (read: belonging) and setting the stage with affirmation, meaningful conversation that lead to action happened seemingly naturally.

Grateful

Jon Cook, December 2010

All of my life people have been incredibly generous to me.  They have provided opportunities to earn a living, contributed to the welfare of my family, shared their resources with me, and blessed my family as friends.  In short, I have much for which to be grateful.

The world’s standard is to get all you can, can all you get, and then sit on the lid and don’t share with anyone!  It is selfish and “all about me.”  On the other hand, being grateful for all that we have and having a generous spirit in return is something that few people really understand or strive for.

Every part of an engine has a role to play.  If it does not work correctly then the engine does not work efficiently or breaks down and does not work at all.  One malfunctioning part eventually affects the performance of every other part.  In an organization, some positions seem more important than others, but it is essential that each position be filled with an individual who does a good job.

You have an opportunity to understand that having a job is a privilege and is something for which to be grateful.  There are many ways to show your gratefulness.

• Thank people for what they do for you and how you have benefited as a result.
• Learn to express gratefulness immediately when another person benefits you.
• Express gratitude by being courteous and thoughtful to others, especially family and work associates.
• Take good care of equipment that is provided you.
• Do not take others for granted.
• Invest in others without reservation.  Make a difference in their lives.
• Learn to express your gratefulness by being generous with your own resources, even if you think those resources are few and limited.

Showing your gratefulness encourages others, builds relationships, and opens your life to future benefits.  What do you have to be grateful for today?

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

The world’s worst boss

That would be you.

Even if you’re not self-employed, your boss is you. You manage your career, your day, your responses. You manage how you sell your services and your education and the way you talk to yourself.

Odds are, you’re doing it poorly.

If you had a manager that talked to you the way you talked to you, you’d quit. If you had a boss that wasted as much as your time as you do, they’d fire her. If an organization developed its employees as poorly as you are developing yourself, it would soon go under.

I’m amazed at how often people choose to fail when they go out on their own or when they end up in one of those rare jobs that encourages one to set an agenda and manage themselves. Faced with the freedom to excel, they falter and hesitate and stall and ultimately punt.

We are surprised when someone self-directed arrives on the scene. Someone who figures out a way to work from home and then turns that into a two-year journey, laptop in hand, as they explore the world while doing their job. We are shocked that someone uses evenings and weekends to get a second education or start a useful new side business. And we’re envious when we encounter someone who has managed to bootstrap themselves into happiness, as if that’s rare or even uncalled for.

There are few good books on being a good manager. Fewer still on managing yourself. It’s hard to think of a more essential thing to learn.

Journaling-the fine art of communicating with yourself

We are an odd species of mammal.  While a lot of warm-blooded animals can communicate with each other, humans alone seem to have the distinction of being able to carry on complete conversations within themselves.  And quite often those thoughtful, internal conversations that occur in quiet retrospective moments give us the opportunity to more fully consider and develop the random thoughts that come to us during the day.  Or sometimes, our introspection helps make sense of the things that happen to us, that at the moment they occur do not allow for the “teachable moments” that are so important to our growth and maturity.

Journaling gives structure to recording and working through those retrospective moments.

People generally think of a Journal and a diary as the same thing but there’s a big difference between keeping a diary and Journaling. A diary is akin to a person’s “Schedule” where appointments and tasks are kept.  Think “DayTimer”, “iCal”, “Outlook”, et al.  A Journal on the other hand, is a means of discovery. Journaling is writing specifically targeted at learning more about who you are, what you do well, what you should avoid.  In other words gaining a more intimate knowledge of your own capabilities and capacities.

Journaling simply provides the means of probing thoughts, feelings and emotions as they affect behavior.  And, since business is constructed of relationships, success or failure often has more to do with our attitudes and beliefs than actually what we physically do.

Journaling while taking a more intimate look at ourselves, allows us to see our attitudes and beliefs, and to make changes if necessary to find different and maybe more effective ways of approaching challenges. When things don’t go as expected or desired, Journaling allows each step to be dissected, helping to determine where the problems lie and what it will take to reach the solution.

Now, the good news.

Oxygen for Organizations now offers you the opportunity to experience Journaling in a safe environment in which you can choose the level of privacy or open sharing that helps you grow.  In other words, you can choose to work through a set of guided Journaling exercises that only you and I will see.  Or, you can share your thoughts with others and get feedback while seeing what they might have to say on similar topics.

You choose.

And, if you are currently working through a workshop with me there are also opportunities for writing about your thoughts and experiences based on specific assignments or lessons.

In any case, the Journaling experience is by invitation only.  If you are interested, let me know by writing me at Michael@IntendToLead.com and I will send you the info to get you started.