From Valentin Stoica of Search Ltd based in Bucharest, Romania:

I have chosen two examples from my recent experience during these hard times of crisis:

From my cousin Rick Smith, a dentist in Aptos, CA

What I have learned is to always believe in myself. That most of all God’s grace is with me, weather I ask for it or not. The trick is to have faith that I will succeed. Yes I have surrounded myself with individuals who encourage me, but my desire to continue to grow along spiritual lines is my most inspirational drive. I have come to realize that I am tremendously successful in whatever I do. It just comes. That is the miracle of it. Hard to explain I just continue to make progress, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, the point is I continue to grow.

From Jeff Meziere, an executive with Asbury Medical, OKC

I never ask someone to do something that I would not be willing to do myself.

And with each passing day, I try more frequently to explain the “why” we are doing something instead of just “because”.

From Boe Parish, a founder and President of Corporate Care, OKC

As a leader of followers and a leader of leaders, the role is similar: I seek to SERVE at every opportunity possible, I seek to LISTEN at every opportunity possible, I seek to INVOLVE COUNSEL from the wisest people at every opportunity possible, and I seek to BE COMPASSION at every opportunity possible!

From Tim Lindsey, President of Central Glass, OKC

Dale Hageman, CEO Accord Human Resources, recently wrote an Opinion for OKC Biz titled The Price of Leadership.  One of his points was “Be deliberately ethical.”  As human beings (a.k.a. sinners) this is so much easier said than done.

I like to believe that I am an ethical leader.  And in most cases, (at least in the “big”, obvious, or public business situations) my moral compass is pointing true north.  But where I am often convicted, and where I have to focus, is in the small, private, or personal areas of my. This is the “lifestyle” we have to live.  Otherwise, we are simply putting on a “mask” or living different lives.  And this ultimately catches up with us and destroys our credibility and authenticity.

From Bruce Bockus, President of Bockus Payne Associates Architects, OKC

An older wiser friend once told me “Leaders lead by serving, servants serve by leading.”  This tells me a leader’s life is one of service – as a leader we are not above any task.  This takes humility and eyes wide open to the needs around us.  With Jesus as our example – when He washed his disciples feet and then instructed His disciples: “Now that you know these things, go and do likewise”.  Nothing is too high or too low in a leader’s job description.  A leader’s lifestyle is one of service, not position.  With that in mind I make it my habit, not to wash feet, but massage necks.  In 24 years of private practice, I have never had any guy (its a guy only thing) tell me to stop.

From Brian Knott, Purchasing/Inventory Control at Gemini Coatings, El Reno, OK

As a leader, you have to go places others dare not go.

These were just a couple of thoughts that came into my head.

From Tim Woolery, Entrpreneur, Moon Chemical Products, OKC

Leadership never turns off, it carries over to everything you are involved in. Leadership in the business world can be about setting the culture, the vision and cheerleading. Leadership away from work can often be demonstrated as “Servant Leadership”, leading by example, quietly providing for others, being good team players allowing other leaders to lead and supporting their efforts.

From Sam Whitey, an Engineer at Coon Engineering, OKC

I relate to this question in the form of being a leader for my kids. Yes, I feel at work I’m a leader, but at home, being a parent, I find myself TRYING to be the best example I can be. For my kids, I find myself doing this mostly at church. At St Johns in Yukon, I am a lector. I openly pray, sing, and express my love of God. This being the example I am trying to set. I am showing my two sons that, yes, you must be a leader, for your friends, for your future family. I am setting an example for my daughter. I want her to see me praying, singing, and showing her what a strong Catholic male needs to do and be. Thus showing her a template for a future mate.

Being a leader to me is best expressed through my family.

My experience tells me the above is true.  I’d like to share more about that with you and, since all of you who read this are leaders, I would like to hear what you think.

Ponder the following question and respond back to me:

If leadership is a way of being, what do you do differently or not do because it is a life style?

Please, let me know what you think.

I will compile  your answers and even credit you.  Once done, I will share the responses.  I think the result could be really interesting and helpful.

Water Skiing Will Change Your Life

It’s 8 a.m.  A light rain.  It’s 57 degrees.  I have a t-shirt and a sweatshirt on covered by my rain jacket with my favorite cap and the hood is up.  I am drinking sweet hot coffee out of a thermal mug.  There’s snow on the mountains that dive into the water surrounding the Young Life Camp here at Malibu in British Columbia.  Seals play in the water that is 3 degrees warmer than the air.  Eagles circle overhead. Life is good.  God is good.  This is peace.

Until I notice that there is a kid in the water squarely behind a ski boat yelling, “hit it!”  R U Kidding Me?  And, there’s a high school girl standing on the dock in a bikini and a wet life jacket waiting her turn to try.  What is going down here?

In the midst of weird fun, rock and roll, pretty girls, handsome boys, energy overflowing, Jesus walks, and grins.  Causing people to do kingdom kinds of stuff, like trying things they’ve never tried before.  Water skiing in cold water. Loving the unlovable.  Loving themselves.  Loving God.  Changing lives for the better, forever.  Life is good.  God is good.  This is peace.

The following is a mildly edited letter of encouragement to a new college graduate who just landed a job as a reporter for a startup from her very wise boss.  Enjoy the reminders of what’s important to even old(er) guys like me.

You’ve got great potential. I’ve seen flashes of it. And you’re tremendously organized. But to be perfectly honest, you either don’t seem to understand what it takes to be great…or maybe you haven’t reached the point where you’re willing to pay the price to be great.

The price of greatness is time. And when I say time, I mean LOTS of time. For little pay at this stage of your career

And yes…it means more time than you’ve been willing to invest so far.

It doesn’t mean sitting at the office waiting for people to return emails or phone calls. It doesn’t mean getting your information about a game or a match or tournament after it’s over. You’ll never be great by showing up at a golf tournament four hours after it starts or talking to a coach or player about getting run-ruled by his rival the day after the emotions have settled somewhat. You get there by sitting in the press box with a coach and giving him pizza as a six-hour track meet winds down. You get there by having long conversations with a kid or a parent that may not reveal anything “major” 9 out of 10 times, but maybe he drops a bombshell on you…like “I just found out I have a medical condition that has ended my career.” You get there by watching the games. You get there by learning the difference between scoring “runs” in baseball as opposed to scoring “points.” Sometimes it’s exciting…others it’s tedious and boring, because life is like that.

And frankly, you’ll only do that day in, day out only if you absolutely LOVE what you do. Not love the office you work in because it’s cool and you have nifty new equipment. Not love the people you work with because they’re fun to be around. Not love the career because you get to go to games and talk to people. I mean LOVE the sport. LOVE soaking it in. LOVE the experience of seeing it unfold in front of you and LOVE telling the story so that others can fall in love with what you love about it.

You’re showing glimpses of a willingness to be great. But it’s only coming in pieces here and there. And until you’re ready to pay the price of spending time it’s only going to continue coming in pieces here and there.

I love working with (every member of our team),…trying to help you become the people you can be. Not just the reporters or designers you can be…but the whole person. I treasure the chance to have these kinds of conversations with you, hard though they may be to have. I have nothing but the highest of hopes for you and for your co-workers because I can see the potential each of you has.

But you’re not going to reach that potential without investing time. A LOT of time.

I don’t believe there’s anything I can do that will make you love your job and want to do it more or do it better. I believe the best way for you have to arrive at that decision is to find it yourself. You have to fall in love with what you’re doing. Not with all of the peripheral things that come with being a reporter or a sports reporter like the recognition or the people you know or that you get to go to games and talk to those who play them. Those are nice things, but they’re fleeting at best. Falling in love with the experience, the relationships and the telling of stories. Falling in love with the crafting of a story that you can’t wait to write.

My experience is, not many.

Because the man or woman we work for is a whacko.
Because the people we work with are incompetent and unmotivated
(and we, of course, are competent and motivated).
Because our customers or clients are insensitive and overly demanding.
Because we are never paid what we are worth.
Because we don’t get the right benefits or, have to pay too much for them.

I can go on, but I am thinking you are identifying, or at least getting the idea.

Look through the above list of sources of misery.
They are all about someone else.

You can say that the king of Israel had it made and could afford to say good stuff about his place in life,
but the fact is, interestingly enough, that there is very little correlation between job satisfaction and position titles.
Maybe, like the fallen poet-king, we of less fortune can improve our lot in life by looking past the immediate and focus instead
on that which outlives us.

After he says, “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places” King David declares “Surely, I have a delightful inheritance.”  His inheritance, what he was given, was the framework in which he made sense of the immediate non-sensical stuff.

Do you think maybe if we knew what we’ve been given and for what purpose, the distractions might be nothing more than character building?

How do you get it? And, maybe more importantly, how can we keep it?

We’ve all had at least fleeting moments of it.

* When my new baby girl was feeding from a bottle in my lap and I couldn’t take my eyes from her cherub face while thinking that I have never been happier or more fulfilled.

* All my bills were paid and I even had some money in savings and investments.

* Sitting on my couch on a quiet Sunday morning with a cup of coffee, my favorite book and my dogs, contemplating the wonder of the Creator.

* My arm around my life partner with no particular place to go or do and just enjoying her loving me and me, her.

Maybe it’s the nature of contentment to be a few memorable peaceful moments, but I cannot help but think that in this particular case, our Creator intended that more is better.

Take a clue from someone who said that he had it, contentment that is. The New Testament Paul said in one of his letters, “…I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” The keyword here is the verb in the sentence, learned. He didn’t just become content, he learned to be content. It’s an intentional process of acquiring and using knowledge and experience to accomplish something. In this case, contentment.

Contentment is something we can learn.

Try looking at the root word, content. And place the emphasis on the first syllable instead of the second and what do you get? Content, which is the substance, the essence of whatever is contained. Maybe then, to get contentment we have to look at content – what our lives, our organizations are made of.

Be pleased with the content, and contentment (a learned process of intentionally choosing and refining what we put in and what we take out) is at hand.

“ Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. ”

Let that soak in for a minute.

The first feeling you will probably get is that upward curl of the mouth that’s a tell-tale sign of joy and possibly even mirth. You might be thinking, ” Yea, that’s cool.  I’m for that.  I can do that”.  Maybe you’re even thinking seriously about making that your new mission statement.  I did.  For a minute or two.

Think of all of the good things that could happen, because after being with anybody they would always leave better and happier.  I’d be doing that Jesus thing.  People would say, wow he’s a light-on-a-hill kinda guy.  How could people not love me?

The next thought I got made the other side of my mouth turn down slightly.  That subtle sign reveals that there is some uncomfortable thinking going on.  I was asking myself, “How can I do that – making everyone I meet a bit better and happier?”  I’d have to give them something.  Like what?  A word of encouragement?  I’d have to work at it, but I could do that.

But what if they want something I can’t give? Like a word of encouragement when I don’t really believe it. What if I don’t have something to give them?  What if I need them to give me something?  Is it possible to leave those encounters better and happier?

Whoa, what a lot of work.

The corners of my mouth on both sides flattened out.  I went on to the next email.

Grateful

Jon Cook, December 2010

All of my life people have been incredibly generous to me.  They have provided opportunities to earn a living, contributed to the welfare of my family, shared their resources with me, and blessed my family as friends.  In short, I have much for which to be grateful.

The world’s standard is to get all you can, can all you get, and then sit on the lid and don’t share with anyone!  It is selfish and “all about me.”  On the other hand, being grateful for all that we have and having a generous spirit in return is something that few people really understand or strive for.

Every part of an engine has a role to play.  If it does not work correctly then the engine does not work efficiently or breaks down and does not work at all.  One malfunctioning part eventually affects the performance of every other part.  In an organization, some positions seem more important than others, but it is essential that each position be filled with an individual who does a good job.

You have an opportunity to understand that having a job is a privilege and is something for which to be grateful.  There are many ways to show your gratefulness.

• Thank people for what they do for you and how you have benefited as a result.
• Learn to express gratefulness immediately when another person benefits you.
• Express gratitude by being courteous and thoughtful to others, especially family and work associates.
• Take good care of equipment that is provided you.
• Do not take others for granted.
• Invest in others without reservation.  Make a difference in their lives.
• Learn to express your gratefulness by being generous with your own resources, even if you think those resources are few and limited.

Showing your gratefulness encourages others, builds relationships, and opens your life to future benefits.  What do you have to be grateful for today?

“Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

The world’s worst boss

That would be you.

Even if you’re not self-employed, your boss is you. You manage your career, your day, your responses. You manage how you sell your services and your education and the way you talk to yourself.

Odds are, you’re doing it poorly.

If you had a manager that talked to you the way you talked to you, you’d quit. If you had a boss that wasted as much as your time as you do, they’d fire her. If an organization developed its employees as poorly as you are developing yourself, it would soon go under.

I’m amazed at how often people choose to fail when they go out on their own or when they end up in one of those rare jobs that encourages one to set an agenda and manage themselves. Faced with the freedom to excel, they falter and hesitate and stall and ultimately punt.

We are surprised when someone self-directed arrives on the scene. Someone who figures out a way to work from home and then turns that into a two-year journey, laptop in hand, as they explore the world while doing their job. We are shocked that someone uses evenings and weekends to get a second education or start a useful new side business. And we’re envious when we encounter someone who has managed to bootstrap themselves into happiness, as if that’s rare or even uncalled for.

There are few good books on being a good manager. Fewer still on managing yourself. It’s hard to think of a more essential thing to learn.

Journaling-the fine art of communicating with yourself

We are an odd species of mammal.  While a lot of warm-blooded animals can communicate with each other, humans alone seem to have the distinction of being able to carry on complete conversations within themselves.  And quite often those thoughtful, internal conversations that occur in quiet retrospective moments give us the opportunity to more fully consider and develop the random thoughts that come to us during the day.  Or sometimes, our introspection helps make sense of the things that happen to us, that at the moment they occur do not allow for the “teachable moments” that are so important to our growth and maturity.

Journaling gives structure to recording and working through those retrospective moments.

People generally think of a Journal and a diary as the same thing but there’s a big difference between keeping a diary and Journaling. A diary is akin to a person’s “Schedule” where appointments and tasks are kept.  Think “DayTimer”, “iCal”, “Outlook”, et al.  A Journal on the other hand, is a means of discovery. Journaling is writing specifically targeted at learning more about who you are, what you do well, what you should avoid.  In other words gaining a more intimate knowledge of your own capabilities and capacities.

Journaling simply provides the means of probing thoughts, feelings and emotions as they affect behavior.  And, since business is constructed of relationships, success or failure often has more to do with our attitudes and beliefs than actually what we physically do.

Journaling while taking a more intimate look at ourselves, allows us to see our attitudes and beliefs, and to make changes if necessary to find different and maybe more effective ways of approaching challenges. When things don’t go as expected or desired, Journaling allows each step to be dissected, helping to determine where the problems lie and what it will take to reach the solution.

Now, the good news.

Oxygen for Organizations now offers you the opportunity to experience Journaling in a safe environment in which you can choose the level of privacy or open sharing that helps you grow.  In other words, you can choose to work through a set of guided Journaling exercises that only you and I will see.  Or, you can share your thoughts with others and get feedback while seeing what they might have to say on similar topics.

You choose.

And, if you are currently working through a workshop with me there are also opportunities for writing about your thoughts and experiences based on specific assignments or lessons.

In any case, the Journaling experience is by invitation only.  If you are interested, let me know by writing me at Michael@IntendToLead.com and I will send you the info to get you started.